One-page dungeon · 010
The Sober Badger's Cellar
A cellar still filling the same order one hundred and eighty years on — the customer is dead, but the paperwork is immaculate.
A one-page dungeon for 3–5 characters, levels 1–3. Eight rooms under a dead vineyard, 30–60 minutes, system-neutral — every monster is staff, every price is printed.
THE ADVENTURE
The vineyard is ruins; the cellar door is freshly swept. Below, a badger in a stained apron runs the tidiest business on the coast: a solera spiral seven tiers deep, a spider who notarizes with wax, and a wedding order twelve bottles wide, 180 years overdue. The house rule is chalked over the bar: TRUTH FIRST, THEN WINE.
This is a dungeon where the map is a contract. Every room’s switch is a clause, every printed price is real, and violence is a drafting error — the cellar litigates. Steal a bottle and the vinegar hours begin: one tier souring per hour, seven hours to a full cellar. Deliver the wedding — twelve cups, twelve true toasts, one signature — and you inherit the estate. As for the badger: she isn’t guarding the treasure. She’s guarding the door out of her job.
WHAT'S INSIDE
- 8 keyed rooms on three levels: delivery arch, tally room, solera stair, wax nursery, founders’ row, tasting table, evaporation loft, wedding vault
- The clause engine: a lease you can read before you breach — printed prices, scheduled violations, and the d6 "if you break a clause" table
- d10 cellar noises table + three hooks (the assessor whose own name is on the oldest unpaid invoice; the bride’s side; the merchant’s "clean salvage" map)
- Three currencies to track — bottles, promises, names — coin buys surprisingly little down here
- A quiet clock that ends the adventure honestly if nobody acts: twenty vintages left, seven bottles a year
- System-neutral stat hints · read-aloud intro ≤80 words · print-ready one-page layout
- Every room has a live interaction and a priced consequence; a print-ready map block. Pairs with 012 (Solo Oracle) to run it alone tonight.
WHO IT'S FOR
Tables that would rather talk to the monster; trade- and economy-curious parties; GMs who want a dungeon that can be beaten by reading the contract; cozy-with-teeth moods.
Paper & license: A4 and US Letter layouts included — print as many copies as you like for your own table. Transparency: Drafted with AI assistance, then rewritten, keyed, and laid out by hand. We test before we sell: Cold read-through ✅ · simulated table run ✅ · print check ✅. Questions about how this was made? Ask — we answer.